):

5 Reasons Why I Am Confident.
1) I am perfectly at ease with myself when teaching a class of 30.
2) I wasn't nervous at all when faced with a crowd of more than 100 in Vietnam.
3) I used to work as a "salesgirl", so that means I have confidence because I'm handling people that I have never met before.
4) I don't stutter/back away when I meet new people. (okay sounds lame)
5) I was pretty okay when I made an announcement in front of the whole school!

which leads me to think, when is the time going to come, where the first thought that springs up into my mind, would not be one that is self-degrading, would not be one that has got to do with me putting myself down.

why am i feeling so lousy, so mixed up, so down? i hate this shit. fuck it.