vice versa

somehow, every word you say contains daggers in them. the expression in your eyes whenever you talk to me has some kind of falseness in them. the gaze isn't straight. i always look at people's eyes whenever i talk to them. i think it's the easiest way to gauge how one is feeling, whether the other party is lying, whether he or she genuinely wants to talk to you.

i see you every day, you can call it almost 24/7. it's not something that i chose to have, it's something that is packaged into this thing you call my life. we are close, very close, or rather, we were close. now i feel like i'm losing you too. i feel like whatever i do is wrong. it's as though i've committed some heinous crime, so much so that you don't want to talk to me. and even when you do, it's so fake.

i'm a sensitive person by nature, i can feel things. i know things, you don't even need to tell me. scary, huh? but i guess if you are sincere in treating someone, that someone knows it inside. as much as you want to cover things up by all those smiles and fake gestures, i know whether you're sincere or not. (partly why i find it very scary t be in where i am now. there's no one i can run to) and now this, even when i come home. i don't trust you anymore.

i'm a proud person by nature too. stubborn, proud. that's why i will never talk to you about this.

some things never change. like how no matter how much i tell myself that other people's opinions and talk about me doesn't matter, i know it will still get to me, it will still affect me someway or another, no matter how many times i've been through all these gossip shit. because i'm a girl, because i'm sensitive.

but i guess if this is the way you're going to treat me, then don't expect me to be your best friend anymore. i'm not someone you can go to whenever you have some problems with your guys or people in school and just chuck me aside whenever you feel like it. i'm a human. humans have feelings. i'm not going to be your dustbin. but i guess if there's anyone you always take for granted, it's family. i've been trying to stand in your shoes for very long.

but i had enough.

if this is the way you're going to treat me, then vice versa baby.