iris told me she just went for drain walk today. i also want to go for drainwalk! it's a pity i missed drain-walking with 25 cuz of my stupid ankle ): but at least i got to do it with the odac-ers. then i thought of mr isaac lim. i miss him also ):
thinking about it, mr lim never failed to have faith in me, never failed to teach me new stuff that i didnt know about, never failed to instill in me better moral values. he taught me to be a better person.
yet i think if mr lim saw me now, he'll be very disappointed in me. i'm no longer quite what i used to be, inquisitive, positive and happy. i think i've let him down and perhaps most importantly, i let myself down.
i have no idea why i'm feeling so tired/down nowadays. prolly it was after the other day's fight/quarrel/scolding whatever you call it. but i cannot face you proper anymore. i know you love me alot, but you sure have a weird way of displaying your love. i feel very oppressed and demoralised by you, it is as though whatever i do, will never be enough for you. i think the day you'll shut up is the day i give you ALL A'S in my report card. but to be realistic, i think it is highly impossible. sometimes you just have to accept the fact that i'm not as smart as your elder daughter. we are what we are made of, you cant make us into someone that you want us to be. i think i have no life. and excuse me, i'm one year away from being legal? does that like indicate how OLD i'm going to be? and still i'm still being leashed on to, so tightly.
i can't breathe. i can't not tear whenever i think about it. it's like i'm on an emotional rollercoaster once again. and no, my period is not coming. i'm practically always in a bad mood.
so i'm sorry desmond, for always throwing tantrums at you, for being so short tempered nowadays.
i'm slowly trying to pick myself up. i want to be someone mr lim is still proud of, i want to be someone you''ll be proud of. and i want to walk with my head held up high for once.
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on a sidenote, class party a week ago was fun. i'm sorry i took so long to update about it. but i think it kinda made us a little more bonded. like hey, ben actually addresses me proper now. hahaa. me, ben, brandon and shuteng played bridge. haha. ben and i won eleven sets! brandon was declared the ultimate loser of the day. haha. and i actually laid my hands on the mahjong tiles! -SCREAMS. but got boring after awhile. haha. it was fun to see everyone having fun (: was kinda sad cuz i had t leave rather early. ponning cip was worth it.
and it was fun to see people in the pool playing, i got splashed! samuel's KID sister won jingkai in chess. HAHA. and like everyone was basically having fun (((((: i love scten!
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and i finally went to eat my TOMYAM yesterday! it was, HEAVENLY. i craved for SOOOOOO damn long. -GLARES AT JANE. tomyam rocks!
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simeng yooo. you dont give up also! all the way! and cheer up please!
cqy waaaah, thankyou in yr attempt t cheer me up. hahaha first time man ! (: QY COMES TO SCHOOL BECAUSE HE CANT BEAR NOT SEEING HUIMIN FOR ONE DAYYY! HAHAHAA.
thermis hey. you finally tagged. hah.
jane I AM BIGGER THAN YOU AND HER. HAHAHAHAHA. thankyou jane (:
iris the real huimin is hiding somewhereee! hahah. thankyou though ((: we'll survive it tgh. and then get good grades ! haha i hope my exco thing went fine. =#
Z hahahaha you paiseh alr ah ! (: aye (: I LOVE YOU ALOT ALSO!
diana hey, thanks for being there always somewhat (: hahaha. rlly appreciate it.
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JUST YOU WATCH OUT.
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