You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo
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As of yesterday, I'm done with performing. It's quite sad, but it's life. Went out with most of sc10 and we caught Indianna Jones(to my objection initially). I fell asleep at the first part but I'd say the second part was exciting nEhxXxX (: so okay, I'm glad I watched it actually (: think it's the first time I caught a movie with sc10 (: went for dinner at the hkcafe and then we went shopping! I was so excited because we saw an orange Lambo outside Meritus Mandarin yay! Haha (:
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I'm going to try my best to put my thoughts into words and suitable for public discretion because Diana said something about since I want my blog to be public, I have to be careful of what I say. Recent events have led me thinking to how "practical" I have becomed. I don't like it because I'm afraid one day, all decisions would be based on how practical it is, and not be based on what I really want to do, what my heart tells me to do.
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I've been thinking about how people tend to judge others based on how they look, based on what others tell them. It's very convenient to add on to the gossip, to contribute your two cents worth to whatever that is being said. But have you ever thought about the credibility of what your friend have said? Every opinion that you have of the other party is based on what you heard, but how do you know that it is correct?
Have you bothered knowing the person for who he/she is? Have you bothered to look beyond his/her facial features and look at her heart/character? I should have been used to all these remarks about how unapproachable I look by now, because it has been the case since secondary school. But I'm still very much annoyed. It makes me wonder about how shallow you are, because you judge people based on how they look.
It has been almost a year and a half. That's why it's really quite sad that majority of you do not talk to me because apparently I'm unapproachable, apparently I'm fierce. Have you all bothered to look at how I carry myself, how I do things. After all, I'm in constant interaction with you for most of the week. Have you all bothered to talk to me, to know me before forming your opinion of me. If you have, then I have nothing to say.
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I think I'm going to face a lot of problems when I go out to work next time, because I'm quite a stick in the mud when issues concerning what I believe in arises. I don't know about you, but I won't trade my soul because everyone around me is doing so. I've always stuck to being myself for the simple reason of not wanting to be untrue to myself. But recent situations have made me realise that sometimes, you just have to be someone you're not.
I don't get it because I don't see the point of being nice to you when I don't like you. It makes me feel plastic. Yes it's being tactful and diplomatic and all that rubbish, but I feel very hypocritical. Naive me used to believe that everyone's nice and all that, but again, recent situations have taught me that some people don't mean it most of the time and I was just plain stupid to believe so.
Perhaps it's the way of life. But then again I question, if being able to survive on this Earth means having to trade in your soul and your integrity and who you are, then what for are you living? You're just going to be like one of the "cookie" from the cookie mould, ordinary like the others. What's the point of your one shot at life? Each of us are supposed to be living for a purpose, we are all supposed to have our own unique personality and character. Whatever happened to all of it?
I've reached a conclusion somewhat I suppose. Regarding the people I have issues with, I'm not going to talk to you unless you do, for the simple reason of not wanting to feel fake. I have this certain belief in life that I have to be who I am. Maybe that part of me annoys some people, especially those of the opposite gender, because I strongly believe in doing what's right and I know how I think won't agree with many people, especially those of the opposite gender.
I'm not your typical bimbotic feminine brainless girl and I'm proud of who I am. Maybe that's why I come off as being harsh and fierce. But I think ultimately, you don't have anyone to answer to, except yourself. I do not follow the crowd and I have a reason for the way I am now, for the way I do things. So, please do not assume. I'm glad for people like Aud and Mich because it's heartwarming to know that they, like me, will always stick to being themselves. I'm proud of you girls (:
If you can live your life being ordinary just because you don't want to step on anyone's toes, then by all means. It's your life anyway. But it's not the case for me. I'd say the situations that I've been in has taught me a lot. I'm going to stick to being myself as much as possible simply because it's only very Huimin-ish to do so. And I know that those people who know me for who I am would be proud of that. And also because I think that one would garner more respect this way.
And next time before you say or contribute into gossip, I hope you'd think through about whether it's credible and whether you are just doing so because you want to follow the norm. And it'd just be very sad if you take people for what they say, and not try to know the other party more. I should think from this, you can tell who your friends are. Because friends trust you and they are different from the likes of people like you, they won't jump into conclusions. They will not take things as what you said but instead question the credibility.
Because Slut, please get your facts right.
But whatever, thou shalt not let thee affect me.
Like it or not, this is who I am.
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